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Burnout is now part and parcel of motherhood, according to new research — a finding which I’m sure will come as no surprise to the women reading this article.
The overwhelming majority of us (93%) have felt burnout at some point since having kids, with over half (58%) saying they feel burned out ‘often’ or ‘almost always’.
The new Motherhood Index, based on a survey of 4,000 women with children, shows a staggering 70% of mums say they get less than five hours of unbroken sleep a night. Over a third (36%) have less than four hours. Worryingly, 48% said they needed health support but couldn’t access it or found it fell short.
And let’s not forget, nearly three-quarters of two-parent families have both parents in employment in 2026, according to ONS data. The advice to ‘sleep when baby sleeps’ during the day has never been more annoying.
The research is depressingly predictable to me, as I sit at my desk powered by Diet Coke and mum guilt, after a spectacularly bad night with my two-year-old. But I suppose it’s bleakly reassuring too, to know it’s not just me ‘failing’ at having it all.
The report, published by baby brand Nuna and community group Peanut, suggests the increasing demands of modern motherhood have made feeling exhausted and overworked the new baseline.
It paints a picture of tired, stressed and overworked mums who often have to pick up the majority of household chores and childcare responsibilities on top of paid work.
Seven in 10 women (71%) say they do more childcare and domestic labour than their partner, and 42% report doing significantly more. One in 10 mums is also raising children unsupported.
Alongside this, 47% of mothers reported they have scaled back, paused, or left their careers since having children.
While 61% said their own mental health was ‘good’, conversations with mums suggested they had low expectations of what good looked like.
‘I think I measure my wellbeing against others I’ve spoken to now,’ one mum commented. ‘We all agree it’s much harder than it was before. I still function-semi-well. But I know lots of mothers that are basically just breaking down every day.’
Where is the village?
The report also highlights how mums feel the burden of managing ‘the juggle’ without the traditional ‘village’ of support that existed less than a generation ago.
Last year, a report from think tank Centre for Young Lives, based on Freedom of Information data, found spending on children’s centres and Family Hubs by local authorities across England was less than a quarter of what was spent annually on children’s centres in 2009/10.
Without fixed community support, friends and family are more vital than ever. But realistically, non-parent friends have their own challenges in 2026 (separate research on mental health among the general population suggests the picture isn’t much better).
Many of the mums interviewed felt help often disappeared soon after they became mums.
I told my husband we were over after carrying the mental load
When Cat Sims announced she was leaving her husband, he was ‘blindsided’ by the turn of events.
‘It wasn’t that he was lazy or didn’t care. He just didn’t get it. As a boy growing up in the 80s and 90s, he hadn’t been ‘trained’ to recognise and manage the mental load in the same way his female counterparts had,’ she tells Metro.
But carrying the mental load of her household left Cat with ‘constant rage’, so she saw no solution.
‘With two kids aged 11 and 8, a dog, a mortgage, full-time jobs and elderly family to look after, living in a house with a man who didn’t help with the tedious but essential minutiae of family life was infuriating.’
Reluctantly, she agreed to try couples’ therapy before packing her bags – and was surprised they managed to turn things around.
‘I finally understood that no matter how much I lost my temper and slammed doors, it wouldn’t make my husband do what I needed him to do. I had to adjust how I communicated what I needed and have faith that my husband would meet me halfway,’ she says.
‘It’s not women’s fault that we struggle to manage the mental load, and it isn’t men’s fault that they struggle to understand it, but it is our responsibility to be the cycle breakers and change that.’
One commented: ‘You have your baby and your baby and your whole pregnancy everybody is like, ‘I can’t wait.’ And then he’s here, and everybody’s like, ‘Wow. That’s a lot. Have fun with that. I’ll see you later.’
Another said: ‘For his first three to four months I felt very alone despite having a lot of people in the house and nearby. People could have been here having a chat, spending some time with me. But nobody really has been.’
Data analysis of conversations from Peanut’s online community found a steep rise in words associated with exhaustion. Language surrounding the ‘mental load’ has increased by 333% on the app, and burnout language has risen by 107%. Use of words associated with clinical mental health is also being seen more frequently, with a rise of 58%.
We all know the solutions here: cheaper childcare, better access to flexible working, investment in community services and an overhaul of gender norms, for a start.
Without them, is it any wonder the UK’s birthrate has dropped to a 50-year low?
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