Heatwave sex is normally a no-go, but I’ve never had so much sweaty action

This week’s diarist isn’t a fan of the heat, but she’s on a mission (Picture: Myles Goode)

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from Harriet*, a 46-year-old mother who has been happily married to her husband, Mark* for 16 years.

They typically have sex once a week, and Harriet enjoys her ‘steady’ relationship with intimacy — not to mention the fact she always orgasms.

But she’s been on a mission to spice things up a little. ‘I’d like there to be more time for my sex life to be more imaginative and varied,’ she says.

Rising temperatures can have the opposite effect for the mum, though.

‘The heat usually makes me feel so hot, sticky and agitated that the only chance of keeping the intimacy alive is some very strong air con,’ she explains.

Without further ado, here’s how Harriet got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

I wake up in our double bed at 5am because I am so hot. I pull back the covers and strip off my pyjama shorts and top.

As I lay here butt naked, looking up at the ceiling my husband, Mark, rolls over, does a double take, and assumes his luck is in.

Reaching over, he grabs my right boob and starts stroking my nipple.

‘Don’t touch me!’ I snap, swatting his hand away just as I notice he’s already aroused.

Just as the weather forecasters have predicted it’s over 30°C in our bedroom, despite the sun barely having risen yet.

But while the heatwave clearly isn’t putting my hubby off his stride in the bedroom, with my body clammy with sweat and the air completely still and stifling, I can’t think of anything worse than working up even more of a sweat with some bedroom action.

Even when he tries it on again, insisting that our three children won’t be awake for at least another hour, I turn my back to him and refuse point blank. Sweat, sticky bodies, BO and an airless bedroom just don’t make me horny I’m afraid.

I spend the rest of the day working in the lightest sundress I can find whilst sitting in front of the fan, and I’m quite relived Mark is late home from work so I’m already asleep!

Tuesday

Mark has already left for work when I wake up and it feels even hotter today, so after a cold shower I pull on a black linen sundress and no underwear.

After getting the kids packed off to school I get the paddling pool set up in the garden and start filling it up.

When Mark comes home it’s already past tea time and I’m getting the children out of the paddling pool ready to go to bed.

Bending over the high plastic side of the paddling pool, which must be about half a metre high, I feel Mark’s hand slip up inside my dress, stopping on my very sweaty bum cheeks.

Remembering I didn’t bother putting underwear on this morning at the same time Mark notices there’s nothing down there apart from naked flesh makes him let out a little groan.

‘Shhh, the kids will hear,’ I say.

‘Well what do you expect?’ he says, giving me a cheeky smile. ‘Let’s get them into bed quickly.’

Although it’s as hot as yesterday, the lack of underwear has created a sense of excitement and added an extra thrill which makes sex seem more appealing.

Like a pair of conspiring teenagers, we hurriedly pack the three children off to bed before going downstairs. We’ve barely walked back into the kitchen and shut the door behind us when he bends me over the kitchen table and pulls up my sundress, pushing himself in from behind.

It’s fast and frenzied as he enters me, and within minutes we’re both sweating buckets as we orgasm together, trying not to make too much noise and wake the kids.

Wednesday

Neither of us slept well last night because of the heat, and because we had all the windows and curtains open to try and let a breeze in, the bedroom was filled with flies and the noise of lorries hurtling down the main road outside our house.

Consequently, I’m snappy and grumpy all day, and don’t want Mark to come near me.

I don’t envy him getting the train into London for work, but our modern house has so much glass I feel like I’m trapped inside a greenhouse as I try and work at home without air con.

When he gets home it’s gone 9pm, I’ve managed to get the children all into bed, and I’m laying in the garden in the paddling pool like a beached whale in my bikini.

Forgetting that to most men, a bikini is the same as underwear, Mark’s eyes light up. Before I know it he’s taken off his shirt, trousers, socks and pants and has got in with me, completely naked.

‘What are you doing?’ I splutter. ‘What if the neighbours see?’

With their gardens joining ours on both sides, I’m horrified at the thought of them peering out one of their bedroom windows and spotting him starkers in the kids’ paddling pool.

But he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, and as he undoes the ties on my string bikini bottoms and top I find myself quickly aroused.

Climbing on top of him as he leads against the side of the pool, he slips inside me and I ride him until we both, very quickly, orgasm.

There’s something about the fact that the neighbours could catch us at any minute that makes it extra exciting; thrilling even. Realising I haven’t brought a towel out to the garden we both tiptoe inside dripping wet and dry off before collapsing into bed.

Thursday

Mark and I are both working from home today and the house is like a sauna, so we both decamp to the gym coffee shop down the road to take advantage of the air con.

Sitting opposite each other on a big communal table feels like we are co-workers rather than husband and wife, and with our air pods on we haven’t acknowledged each other for a few hours when I notice a woman sitting just along the table checking Mark out.

At first it annoys me, but then I start to feel inwardly proud, and turned on by the fact that he’s with me. So I text him to come and meet me in the family changing room, leaving my laptop open to save my seat as I head off there.

A few minutes later I hear tapping on the door. Opening it, I pull him inside and lock it again.

‘What’s going on?’ he asks, confused.

‘That blonde woman on my side of the table kept checking you out!’ I say, and as I pull him towards me for a snog it quickly turns very passionate.

About to undo my jeans, we both freeze as we hear someone trying the door handle and the sound of young children outside. We quickly straighten our clothes before scuttling out, unable to meet the gaze of the family waiting outside.

Friday

School finishes early and we head around to our friend’s house for a BBQ. The Pimm’s is flowing, so when they offer to let us put the kids to bed there so that we can carry on drinking, I’m having too much of a good time to say no.

It’s gone 11pm before we get ours and their children into bed, far later than usual. But at least it’s finally a bit cooler.

As me and my friend come back outside, Mark and the other dad blast us in the face with water guns.

‘What are you doing?’ I scream, furious at the fact both of our cotton dresses are practically see-through, but they carry on soaking us and thinking it’s hilarious.

While I’m ranting at Mark and trying to wipe away the streaking mascara from my face, my friend’s husband grabs her and they have a playful tussle for the water pistol before collapsing onto the floor together.

As they start kissing, I find myself getting really aroused, and Mark must be too because he leads me over to the wall of their house and we both lean against it as he kisses me passionately.

Fuelled by far too many glasses of Pimm’s, the four of us strip off and climb into their hot tub, which fortunately has had the temperature turned down.

I’ve never had a threesome, let alone a foursome before, but as I’m kissing Mark I feel my friend and her husband getting closer and then me and my friend playfully turn and kiss each other – arousing the men even more.

It doesn’t go any further, but as we dried off and went to bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about what would have happened if it did. I think we’ve unlocked a new fantasy, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we revisit it.

Saturday

‘We had a threesome last night!’ Mark laughed, as soon as I opened my eyes.

Head throbbing, my mouth parched and the sound of one of the children calling for me, I didn’t see the funny side.

‘Hardly!’ I sighed. ‘It was just a friendly kiss!’

‘Well I never kiss my friends!’ Mark laughed, hands down his pants as he fiddles with his semi.

I feel like death as I drag myself out of bed and go and take the children down for breakfast.

My friend doesn’t mention what happened last night and nor do I, as I know it didn’t mean anything. But later that day once we are home and relaxing on the sofa I can’t stop thinking about it.

Inspired, we get the kids into bed early that night and I make Mark find some threesome porn on his phone. We watch it as we have very frenzied and sweaty sex and both orgasm loudly, me first and him quickly afterwards.

Doing it doggy style with the phone leaning on the pillow in front of us, it feels illicit, naughty and very exciting. Realising it’s the best sex we’ve had in ages I don’t mind how sweaty we both are as I fall asleep snuggled up next to him, feeling extremely satisfied.

Sunday

We’ve got both of our families over for a BBQ today so I spend the morning skivvying around getting the house ready and preparing food.

When I quickly jump into the shower in our en-suite bathroom to freshen up before the family all arrive, Mark is standing by the sink having just showered.

With a white towel wrapped around his waist, I notice how tanned and toned his upper body looks and stroke his back as I walk past. Then, as I step into the shower, he drops his towel and follows me in.

‘What are you doing?’ I gasp. ‘Your family are coming in less than an hour.’

‘That’s more than enough time,’ he insists.

We’ve just had a new larger walk-in shower cubicle fitted, which means that we can both stand their comfortably as he lathers shower gel and tenderly washes my body, lingering on my erect nipples and butt cheeks.

Then he slides his hand between my leg and quickly brings me to the most amazing orgasm, as the shower water continues to flow over us both.

The sound of the children outside is the reality check that brings things to a quick halt, but it was such a good orgasm that I’ve definitely feeling very content for the rest of the day!

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