I’m a sex worker — this is what men with small penises always ask for

Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) is a common fetish (Credits: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Several of my clients like to be told, over and over, that they have tiny penises.

One will send a picture of his disappointing appendage when he knows I’m out with a group of girlfriends, and will pay extremely well to be sent a video of us all laughing at it hysterically.

We don’t ask why.

We take the money and laugh like laughing hyenas on laughing gas, and that £150 goes on another round of cocktails and chips on the way home.

Intriguingly, his penis isn’t even particularly small. Not a whopper, but perfectly respectable. One of my dozier chums has to be scolded and silenced when she points out on the video that she’d be quite happy to encounter it.

But presumably someone has made him feel bad about the size of his manhood at some point, and he’s decided to eroticise his discomfort and dismay, to take ownership of it, and use it to his advantage.

Men ask for reaction videos of women laughing or being shocked at the size of their small member (Picture: Getty Images/Westend61)

It’s really rather clever, I suppose.

‘Small Penis Humiliation’ is such a common fetish and request that it’s developed its own acronym, SPH, and dommes boast on their websites that they’re experts at it. I’m very much not.

I’m also not particularly on board with the common requests that they always ask for, in one variation or another.

Body parts come in every shape and size. We all know this. So when I’m asked to mock a chap’s undercarriage, it feels puerile and facile.

I don’t find a small penis that funny to start with, and having seen it fifty times already, I struggle to pretend it’s fascinating and hilarious.

I particularly dislike when men ask me to tell them they might as well be girls, so inadequate are their schlongs, because obviously, girls are awesome.

They’ll also often ask me to to tell them their penises couldn’t satisfy me, are a waste of skin, pathetic, worthless, unmanly.

I don’t like doing this because that feeds into the myth that the more d*** you have, the more power you have, which is patently untrue.

In fact, the most powerful people I know are completely devoid of d***.

Girls do not request physical humiliation from me. There must be some women out there who get off on being told they are fat, wrinkly, droopy breasted, freaky fanny flapped, but I haven’t encountered them.

I suppose men see each others’ bits all the time, in urinals and communal showers, so learn to compare themselves and find themselves wanting at a young, impressionable age, which is more rarely the case with girls. But in any case, women seem less inclined to become erotically hung up on their own physicality.

I also dread men sending me d*** pics and asking what I think, as it’s such a fraught subject. Usually, as you might expect, they like to be told their penises are impressive, but a sizeable minority, pardon the pun, want to hear that their penises are diminutive, and jumping the wrong way could cause considerable distress and offence, in either instance.

Usually I plump for a vague, innocuous, ;Gosh, look at that!’ until I’m fed more clues.

And if I’m told to find a man’s small penis funny, I try my best to oblige, despite inwardly wincing, for my own fetish is obedience, particularly to men, which is why I’m so very good at my job. 

Comments Add as preferred source