My dad wants to marry his Thailand holiday fling — it fills me with horror

Should she interfere or leave it alone? (Picture: Getty)

You can’t choose who your friends and family fall in love with — no matter how much you might disapprove.

This week’s reader has gone through her fair share of drama.

Forced to pick up the pieces after her mum left her dad for a woman, she’s now terrified that her home life is about to be in ruins once more.

Her dad met his new fiancée on holiday in Thailand and despite thinking things might fizzle out when he arrived back home, their relationship is stronger than ever.

Keep reading to hear what Laura think this concerned daughter should do. But before you go, check out last week’s dilemma, from a woman who’s never been brought to orgasm by her otherwise ‘perfect’ boyfriend.

The problem…

My mum caused quite a scandal a few years ago when she went off with another woman, and Dad took a long while to get over it. My sister and I encouraged him to get out more and live a bit, but now we’re wishing we hadn’t.

A neighbour invited him to go on holiday to Thailand, which seemed like a good idea at the time. I know some men go there for nefarious reasons, but Dad’s such a boring old stick-in-the-mud, overweight and balding, we thought he’d be the last person to get involved with one of the locals.

How wrong we were. He came back and excitedly told us about this woman he’d met there, showing us pictures of this very young, pretty girl – honestly the last person you’d expect to be with my dad. We hoped it was just a holiday fling and he’d soon forget her, but he’s in touch with her constantly through facetime and phone calls, and his love for her has only grown.

Now he’s announced that he wants to marry her and bring her to this country. We’ve never met her or even spoken to her, and the idea that he’s going to marry someone half his age and bring her home to live with us, just fills us with horror.

Neither me nor my sister are in a position to leave home as I’ve just got my first job and my sister goes to the local college.

Dad doesn’t have loads of money or anything, so she definitely isn’t after his riches. But what if she just wants a way into this country and leaves him once she has a British passport? Once again it will be down to us to pick up the pieces.

The advice

It sounds as though you might be judging your Dad’s relationship based off of some unfair stereotypes.

I can appreciate why the age gap might make you and your sister feel uncomfortable but I don’t think it’s fair to form an opinion of your dad’s girlfriend until you’ve met.

Perhaps you should suggest she comes on holiday over here, or maybe you could all go out to Thailand and meet her.

Many relationships between British men and Thai women are very successful, so try to just be there for your father, whatever happens.

I have to wonder whether you’d welcome any new partner for your dad. You’ve had him to yourselves ever since your mother left, and it’s often difficult to adjust to someone else who comes along and wants to share a parent’s love.

But I think you need to consider your father’s happiness first. By your own admission, he took a long while to get over your mum’s departure, so it must be fantastic for him to feel excited and in love. Don’t discourage the relationship, but do urge him to take his time over any major decisions, like marriage.

If you show your father love and support, he’s more likely to listen to your advice.

Even though it’s human nature to feel the way you do, it’s important that you maintain a good relationship with your dad and respect his need for love and happiness.

Laura is a counsellor and columnist.

Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to [email protected].

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing [email protected].

Comments Add as preferred source