SSA to Ease Enrollment in Trump Accounts [semi-satire]

The Social Security Administration (SSA) is setting up an automated process for parents to obtain Trump Accounts for their children. These Accounts can be established for newborns and children who have a valid Social Security number up until they reach the age of 18. A one-time $1,000 pilot program contribution from the Department of Treasury is available to children born between January 1, 2025, and December 31, 2028, who are US citizens with a valid Social Security number. So far, six million children have been enrolled in Trump Accounts. SSA Commissioner Frank Bisignano explained "Social Security numbers are the backbone...