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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have set a date for their big day, confirming what’s basically a royal wedding for fans across the globe.
But not everyone’s happy about it.
After invites for the July 3 ceremony were sent out recently, one recipient said the fact she hadn’t been given a +1 for the event didn’t ‘feel totally fair’ — and even threatened to snub it altogether as a result.
The anonymous guest told the Daily Mail: ‘What am I supposed to do? Go alone? That is so awkward.
‘I don’t think I am going to attend because I don’t want to go by myself and I am not sure I will know too many people there. I mean, sorry, I am not friends with Gigi and Bella Hadid!’
It’s not only A-listers being ruthless about guestlists though. According to The Knot, 40% of couples are now cutting down on numbers due to budgetary concerns, which makes sense given the average cost per head currently sits at £272 on average.
‘Ten or fifteen years ago, not offering plus ones would have been seen as a big no-no, but we’re seeing couples break traditions with all parts of their wedding, and the guestlist is also seeing the impact,’ says Chloe Lansdowne, senior marketing manager at Hitched.co.uk.
With a net worth exceeding $2 billion, money presumably isn’t a factor in the wealthiest female musician on earth’s decision to keep numbers down. But for most nearlyweds, it’s a natural consideration.
Alison Hargreaves, founder and CEO of Guides For Brides says cost is among the main reasons for couples to put a +1 freeze in place, telling Metro: ‘Even for just the basic catering, food and wine with the meal, for a lot of weddings you’re looking at at least £100 per additional guest — more if there’s an open bar.’
In her view however, the ‘big driving factor’ behind this trend is actually intimacy; couples wanting to ‘feel comfortable’ among those that mean most to them.
What do you think about weddings with a 'no +1' policy?
‘+1s are often strangers to the couple,’ Michelle Jacobs, UK-based destination wedding planner, tells Metro. ‘While it might seem polite to extend the invitation to your guests’ significant others, it means couples might end up hosting people they have never met and have no relationship with.’
But while the motives for it may be understandable, it’s still controversial, and guests from all walks of life have some pretty strong opinions on +1 etiquette.
On a recent Reddit post about ‘the no +1 plague’, commenters said it was ‘common courtesy’ to make sure no one has to fly solo, as ‘travelling alone to a wedding sounds depressing.’
‘There are plenty of ways to save money when wedding planning that aren’t incredibly rude to your guests,’ wrote one, while another added: ‘I don’t want to spend my money or my time to come to your wedding, sit at a table with people I don’t know and have no one to talk to.’
Michelle, who has planned countless celebrations as Elegante by Michelle J, continues: ‘The sad truth is that I’m aware of many situations where there have been arguments over this issue and years later I hear that guests who were denied a +1 are still not speaking to the hosts.
‘This of course is most unfortunate and will always cast a shadow over the celebrations if guest list issues have led to arguments.’
Alison likens it to child-free weddings, warning that guests may decline as a result of the rule — especially if it’s a multi-day affair or requires travel — while others may leave earlier or ‘feel they can’t really let their hair down and enjoy it’ without a partner.
‘The old policy always used to be “no ring, no bring”,’ she says ‘That seemed to work quite well, but what we’re seeing at the moment is definitely an extension of that.’
When this issue comes up for Michelle, she goes through both scenarios with the couple, looking at the consequences of each for them and the others in attendance.
Ultimately, she respects that it’s up to the bride and groom. But if they do choose not to offer +1s, she recommends they think carefully about seating placements, and ‘ensuring that “single guests” will be “looked after” on the day as much as possible.’
Wedding industry veteran Alison adds that it’s important guests are aware of who’s invited early on — ideally as part of a save the date — and urges couples to ‘make sure it’s clear right at that stage what the policy is and the reason is behind it.’
Tread carefully though. While clarity avoids anyone uninvited turning up, being too direct or strict with +1 rules can lead to tension.
‘It does open up a can of worms,’ says Alison. ‘You can understand it from the couples’ point of view, particularly when you look at the costs and the want to keep it intimate and supportive, but it’s not going down well with guests.’
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