Trump Orders Man Jailed For Failing To Give Attention To This Matter

U.S. — Local man Richard Manfred was arrested today after failing to give attention to a matter despite President Trump thanking him for his attention to the matter. President Trump had very generously expressed appreciation for Manfred's attention to this matter, but Manfred made no effort whatsoever to give the matter his attention. "Lock him up," said Trump, after learning of Manfred's negligence. "How can I say 'Thank you for your attention to this matter' if the matter was not given attention? That would make me a liar. Making me out to be a liar is illegal and anyone...